I was having cocktails with a friend recently to celebrate her 40th birthday. As we raised our glasses she wished for a real date with her future husband. While I would have liked to clank a resounding “YES GIRL!”, I couldn’t. Instead, I asked “What’s Marriage Got to Do With It?” While I already knew her answer, I couldn’t help but to think about the countless singles who are wishing for “first-date spouses.” Was she really wishing to go from dinner and a movie straight to the wedding chapel?
Being a certain age myself, I enjoy the dating process - - the good, the bad, and the simply crazy. Was she merely trying to avoid the dating landscape and walk into marital bliss? While it’s possible to meet your potential spouse on the first date, it’s a long shot. Planning the marriage before the date has even taken place is setting yourself and the other person up for disappointment. Lusting for marriage-ready mates is not the answer when you have experienced a lifetime’s worth of failed relationships. If you rush through the process of dating, you may find yourself in a bad relationship.
Reorient your thinking to appreciate dating as a way to get out of the house, have a lot of fun, and get to know a person. Relax your focus on the subject of marriage until it’s appropriate. If you are always looking for spouse potential in a prospective date, try dating your opposite in order to break that cycle. Finally tailor the dating process to fit your social life. To find out how to create the perfect balance please contact me at datingcocktails@sprint.blackberry.net
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