D.I.Y Dating Cocktails

Home for the Holiday

Don’t have a “boo” to call your own?  Well, then do the next best thing -- get a fill-in.  A visit home is, you might say, a moment of sexual opportunity.  You’re in town for the weekend.  He or she is available, and the sex is, well we hope, worth your time.

I always thought going home for the holiday was a time to visit friends and family.  However, I’m learning a new purpose.  It’s a long-distance version of a “booty call.”  But who, where, when?  It’s been so long! 

This D.I.Y Cocktail is for those singles that are visiting home for Memorial Day and in pursuit of the “Big O”!

The Ingredients

1.      Options: the ex, a friend, new acquaintance, former fling

2.      The Invite: call, text, facebook, face-to-face

3.      Passion Play:  flirt a little, play shy, be direct

4.      The Location:  your place or theirs, hotel, wherever you land

5.      The Vibe: get it and be gone, cuddle for a bit, stay all night and get more in the morning

Here’s A Possible Recipe:

A Friend, Facebook, Be Direct, Their Place, Get It and Be Gone

Tip: Hey, it’s ok if you’re craving an amorous encounter with a desirable playmate.  Have fun!  Enjoy yourself.  Remember, safe sex is the best sex!!!

Follow That Single

Celebrity Dating Trends – Shagging the Hired Help

There are cheaters, and then there are philanderers who deceive in such a fashion that their infidelity is tailor-made for the gossip columns.  They are so blatant with their cheating and so obvious in their choice of accomplice, one can only assume that they wished to be caught.  Shocking and truly appalling don’t begin to describe the situations that have led these celebrities to be embroiled in scandal.

Nooners with the Nannie

Who:   Jude Law

What: Cheating on the Fiancée  

The tabloids went wild over the news that the actor cheated on his beautiful actress fiancée, Sienna Miller with his child’s Nanny.   The nanny blabbed all to the press, and soon after the scandal broke, Sienna ended the relationship.

Current Relationship Status:  Since the scandal, the two thespians have been involved in a recycled relationship.  They reunited briefly, but soon parted ways once again.  Currently, the twosome is off, but don’t be surprised if you see them out holding hands at a movie premiere.

Hiding a Love Child in Plain Sight

Who:   Arnold Schwarzenegger

What: Impregnating the Maid

The announcement of the separation of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger was not a complete surprise.  The stunning revelation in this tale of celebrity and politics is that a child was conceived with a household servant of 20 years.   Accusations have surfaced that this boy, now thirteen-years old, may not be the only illegitimate child that the Terminator has fathered.  If the reports are true, we may have to refer to Arnold as the Sperminator.

Current Relationship Status:  Arnold was in the midst of announcing his comeback, but due to personal matters, this tarnished star is postponing his return to acting.  Maria has hired a high-powered divorce attorney.  And another star-studded marriage bites the dust.

Who’s The Boss?

Who:   David Letterman

What: Sexual Relations with Female Staff Members

Still a newlywed, David Letterman announced to his Late Show audience that he was a victim of an extortionist plot, and then he revealed the reason for the blackmail.  He had been involved in affairs with various female members of his staff.

Current Relationship Status:  Dave’s wife Regina Lasko (ironically, a former Late Show staffer herself) requested a public apology.  David complied.  Addressing his wife directly,  he said, she had been “horribly hurt by his behavior” and stated flatly that his affairs “are in the past.”  He vowed to repair the relationship.  To date, there have been no additional reports or accusations.  We can only assume he is a man of his word.

Come Go With Me

Red Mapleååå½ out of 5

930 North Charles Street

Baltimore, MD 21201
(410) 547-0149

930redmaple.com

The Scene:

If you’re not paying attention the classic gray stone entrance could easily be missed.  However, this posh Mount Vernon restaurant is packed with cosmopolitan ambiance.  The cocktails are refreshing and the tapas are a global-fusion of delectable selections.

The Vibe:

The Red Maple combines urban lair with sultry lounge.

Best For:

Close Encounters

Flirtatious Banter

Chic Night-Out

Highlights:

Happy Hour (Tues - Fri) – 2 for 1 Drinks & $4 Small Plates

Salsa – Tuesday Nights

International Dance Party – Wednesday Nights

Table Manners:

Service could be better.  The hostess was missing-in-action, but the wait staff and bartenders’ are cordial.

The Tab:

Moderate – The Spring Menu ranges in cost from $3 to $12 and drinks range $7 to $15. 

The food is tasty.  The service is adequate.  The ambiance, however, is off the charts mesmerizing.

Online Romance -- a 21st Century Scam?

With the emergence of the internet as a mainstream alternative to traditional ways for singles to meet, the customary parameters of dating are fading away.  Along with the expansion of the use of online dating comes the threat of being scammed.  I’m not trying to discourage anyone from using the internet as a tool for dating.  Instead I want to education you about possible frauds and prepare you on how to avoid them. 

As the number of users increase, there is an ever-increasing rise in the number of bogus profiles and romance scams.  A recent study on online dating statistics shows that over 163 million American singles are using online dating services.  In 2009, the Better Business Bureau received 2,660 complaints about online dating services, this number does not capture the countless number of cases that go unreported each year.  While you might be tempted to think that this couldn’t possibly happen to you, a look at the horrifying stories that are posted on the web daily of unsuspecting singles should make you reevaluate your level of vulnerability when it comes to smooth-talking con artists.  Here are three warning signs that you may be dealing with a scammer:

• Presents model quality photos
• Discusses the costs and requirements of a US visa
• Claims any costly emergency, e.g. travel, financial, illness - these frauds will have you so convinced by their lie that you will offer the money freely.

The appeal of online dating sites is the implicit promise that they will do all the work when it comes to finding you suitable companions.  Rely on your instincts and common sense, if you decide to try an internet dating service.  Play detective.  Only use sites that are reputable, read customer reviews, talk to friends or family that have tried dating via the web.  Use the internet to do a background search on the people you connect with before the date.  Adequate research reduces the chance that your bank account will be drained and your heart broken.

Midlife Singles in Prime-Time TV

After the phenomenal success of Sex and the City, the small-screen has begun to show an overwhelming amount of love for the plight of the middle-aged single.  Before you can say “and the Emmy goes to” copycat shows popped up on network and cable channels.

Television heroes and heroines of singlehood are finally offering glimpses of a spectrum of middle-aged single experiences.  Current shows feature endearing divorcees, persevering single parents, life-long bachelors, and work obsessed cougars.  Television executives should be applauded for their decision to explore the bittersweet reality of living single in the midlife years.

Check out these shows with characters of distinction.

NBC’s, Parenthood, Sarah Braverman

Sarah’s a thirty-eight year old single mother of teenagers, a son and daughter.  Her divorce from a rocker husband leaves her in financial distress, and she moves in with her parents.  The show delves into her attempts to mend a broken relationship with her out of control daughter, and her reinvention from bartender to playwright.

TNT, Men of a Certain Age, Terry Elliott

This struggling actor/temp is in his late 40’s and is the quintessential bachelor still waiting for his big break.  Terry is the classic commitment phobe when it comes to relationships with women -- as demonstrated by his involvement with a steady stream of twenty-something beauties.  Yet, he is totally dedicated to his longtime male friendships.

TNT, Southland, Detective Lydia Adams

Detective Adams is in her late 30’s, an outstanding investigator who is totally dedicated to her job.  Her priorities are clear -- she serves, protects, and seldom dates.  However, priorities shift dramatically when she starts secretly dating her partner’s twenty-three year old son.

The rules of the dating game have changed drastically, especially for those in the “prime” of their lives. As middle-aged singles begin to redefine themselves and their personal commitments, television is finally starting look beyond the fairytale and tell their extraordinary stories.

Come Go With Me

Crush åå½ out of 5

510 East Belvedere Avenue

Baltimore, MD 21212
(443) 278-9001

crush-restaurant.com

The Scene:

With its glass windows and contemporary decor, Crush, located at Belvedere Square, offers an attractive and appealing environment, even if its menu and service are somewhat uninspired.  On arrival, you have your choice of seating.  The bar is visually attractive and very open.  Downstairs seating offers a private retreat.  For the bourgeois, the upstairs seating has an upscale feel to it.  The drink and food menu don't offer any surprises, but there are a few delectable choices e.g. shrimp & grits and beef filet.

The Vibe:

The atmosphere is stiff depending on the night you visit.  On the other hand, spring and summer months bring a lively ambiance.

Best For:

Drinks & Conversation

Highlights:

Brunch – Apple and Red Velvet Cupcakes

Prix fixe (3) courses for $37

Table Manners:

The hostess’ greeting was warm and inviting.  The bartenders and wait staff, however, aren’t attentive.   At times, it feels as if they have forgotten you (and it’s not because they’re busy with other customers).

The Tab:

Pricey - An entrée will cost anywhere from $28 to $45, and the drinks range from $8 to $15.  Certain entrees are tasty, however, they lack interesting presentations.   If you want to see for yourself, I suggest trying it out during Restaurant Week.

Food, drink, and service is mediocre.  The desserts, however, are absolutely scrumptious. 

Hit The Spot Solutions

There’s a line from the song “Melt My Heart to Stone,” by Adele, says, “And I hear your words that I made up/You say my name like there could be an us/I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love.”  It’s difficult to admit that the person you deeply desire doesn’t desire you.  It’s never easy to accept rejection.  When someone’s words and actions indicate that they are not interested, there are only two healthy choices – attempt to remain friends or move on.  And remember “love less, date more.”

Q. I am a 44-year-old father of two and I want to be married.  I have a female friend that I have known for almost 10 years.  My friends and family are convinced that she is the one. I also believe that we would be good together.  However, she has rejected my attempts to turn our friendship into a relationship.  What can I do to convince her that we would be good together?

   A. If this woman said that she doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you, there is nothing that can be done.  When we choose to listen to what you want and not what the person is saying, you will run into all kinds of emotional problems.   Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you?  You should move on and find someone that has similar feelings and relationship goals.  In your case, remaining friends with this woman is not a good option.  Clearly your feelings for her will interfere with your moving on and establishing another relationship.  Besides, your future mate will not likely accept your “friendship” with this woman.

Q. I am 38-years-old, recently widowed, with no children.  I recently reconnected with a former lover.  When we were involved years ago, he was married, and he still is.  As far as I can tell, he has no plans for a divorce.  This was the main reason that I married my husband.  Now, that he has returned to my life, I have enjoyed having a companion again. But am I setting myself up for disappointment?

   A. The short answer is “YES.”  You said it yourself -- he has no plans to leave his wife.  Coping with a loved one’s death is never easy.  If you are having trouble managing the loss, you should seek counseling or join a support group.   It’s natural to want to fill that void with someone familiar, but being with someone who is married will hurt more than it will help your already fragile state of mind.

Don’t be afraid to date again!  If possible, change your routine.  Place yourself in situations where you will go to new places and meet new people.  Get comfortable initiating conversations with men and women.  Recognize that people, places, and things that you enjoyed as a couple may not help you develop a new routine as a single.  Most importantly, avoid dead-end relationships.  While they may provide a temporary reprieve from your grief, they will only lead to heartache and disappointment.